Hi, I wrote the first chapter of my own tale. Delight note and tell me if you’d read it.

=CIRCUS=

PROLOGUE

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His lips were pursed into a honest line, and his skin was white as fresh snow. His hands were rigid against the steering wheel, the knuckles beneath his skin again clearly visible.
He was taking in small, quick breaths, inhaling so small air; I thought he force pass out while driving.
The frightening concept sent shivers down my spine. Looking yet to be again through his filthy, water blemished windshield, I let out a sigh of relief as our steep driveway pulled into clear view, only yards away.
The truck came to a noisy stop and I unbuckled my seatbelt.
“Stop! Let me get it.” Zack ordered, reaching over to push my fingers away…again.
My eyes widened in surprise and I released the metal loop in my hands, throwing them up in surrender.
“Ok, ok. Sheesh, Zackary. Seriously, you wanna tell me what—“Another stab of pain cut roughly through my words and I cried out, my whole body beginning to shake.
Zack’s expression twisted into a defending, nervous look, the anguish never leaving his eyes. He slammed his door shut and sprinted over to my side, lifting me into his arms and holding me forceful against him.
This time, the torture never stopped.
I locked my jaw shut, and squeezed my eyelids closed. Zack bolted through our front door and out into our tiny backyard. He then laid me into a soft mattress of cold, water-soaked grass.
My arms and legs writhed in excruciating pain. Deafening shrieks escaped from between my frozen lips. My eyes rolled in all directions, tiresome desperately to locate my brother, but I could see nothing, aside from black. Pitch black and nothing else.
I could feel Zack’s warm hands wrap tightly in a restraining hold against both of my wrists. “Becca…delight. Stay with me Becca! It’s okay; everything is under control. You’ll be fine, I promise.”
I heard his words so clearly…yet they just seemed to flow in one ear and right out the other. I tried so hard to hold onto them, to remember the sound of his voice, but searing pain continued to endlessly rip through my body. I twisted and shook, my fingers clutching at air, attempting to find the comfort of my brother.
“Rebecca…delight! Hold on. It will be over soon. Patience, Becca. You can do this! Don’t let go!” Zack’s voice was strained.
I’m okay Zack, I’m okay…I wanted to reassure him. That’s when it hit. All at once, the unendurable pain that I had been feeling for what seemed like hours multiplied by one thousand. I flipped over onto my stomach and my sight returned to me, but everything was so blurred…like holding a plastic bag over your eyes. An earsplitting weep erupted from my mouth, and hot tears rolled down my cheeks. My body never stopped the writhing, the twisting….
So much pain…What had I done to deserve this? “Zack! Zack, help me! Delight!” I screamed, my voice cracking.
“I’m here. Right here, Rebecca, don’t worry. I won’t leave you. I’m here. It’s nearly over, I swear.” He coaxed, his voice softer but still deeply troubled. His fingers stroked gently through my hair. I tried not to scream. I gave it my best effort to hold myself down, pin myself to the impose a curfew.
And then…it was gone. The pain, the anguish, the screaming…gone. But I was unaware. Confused. Where was I? The weirdest tingling sensation zipped through my body, sending shivers to my spine.
Then I felt numb. I lost all feeling from my neck down. I could no longer hear Zack’s comforting voice, or feel his touch. Everything was silent. Everything was black. Abruptly, an overwhelming feeling of protectiveness washed through me. Like an instinct, I could feel someone watching me. Observing my every go. This could be a predator. No, I was the predator. I could feel it in my blood, taste it in my mouth.
I was perilous. And I was an absolute danger to whoever was watching me. I could kill them easily, and I wanted to. At that moment, reflex ruled and I leapt to my feet. Instantly my senses returned to me. I could feel the squashy grass beneath my toes. I could feel the bitter winter winds whipping through my hair. I could hear small birds, floating gracefully through the air currents above me. I could hear small, uneven breaths…coming from somewhere behind my back. This startled me and I whipped nearly to inspect the spy, a low and threatening howl rumbling in my chest. I snarled and bared my teeth.
It was Zack. He stood a mere twenty feet away from where I stood, his eyes wide and wary, hands held out, palms up as if he were…worried of me.

Okay so I’ve posted the link to the website with the first seven chapters but for some reason the question won’t show so can you read the first chapter of this and tell me what you reckon? Thanks,

Just take the damn card! I thought as I shoved my mother’s credit card into the ATM machine, but it just kept spitting the card out. I told Kevin and Andrea that I would be there in ten minutes and that was a excellent 20 minutes ago.

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I’m not sure if I should try some more or not. I’ve only ever had one tale that I really stuck with before and I’m still working on it, but this is just another thought. This bit doesn’t give you an thought of what it’s about but delight tell me what you reckon anyways. Thanks. HERE IS:

July 25, 2011,

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I just wrote this randomly and I’d like to know how it is. Is there anything I can work on? Thanks. :] Here it is:

July 25, 2011,

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Ok, we horse play sometimes. She wanted to know what I bought at a small party she had, I didn’t want to show her. She charged and wrestled the bag out of my hand, in the process I dropped my lab top. She paused for a second then looked to see what I bought in my bag. I was pissed that she seemed to disregard my feelings. So when she was walking away I punched her in the back, she was pissed and punched me in the arm a few times. I know this sounds terrible, truthfully I used to punch my brother in the arm or back and he would do the same to me, this came out as a sort of reflex. She took this personally which makes me reckon I punched her harder then I thought. I feel horrible that this happened. I haven’t punched her in the three years we’ve known each other, I’m wondering what is the best course of action to apologize. I feel horrible, is there a touch incorrect with me that I should see someone about? I’m usually a cool person, I don’t go nearly punching people.

I’m 15, I was having a excellent morning. I was cleaning my room, while listening to my ipod and drinking some peppermint tea, because I was cold and wanted a touch to warm me up. Then all of a sudden I got a cough and a horrible stomach pain. I tryed to relax and it finally faded away in about 20mins. But now I have this horrible sharp pain that comes in waves on my left side between my rib cage and hip bone, more towards my back. It comes and goes really quick like in waves, a pulse movement, I’ve had it for about 30mins now. I place a warm rice bag on it and its helping a lot. I don’t reckon it’s a huge deal, but I differently couldn’t live with it. I have an acid reflex problem, and I take a daily pill for it. I usually have no problem with it though and I took that pill today. Now I’m frightened to eat, because it’s just now starting to fill better and I’m worried it will make my stomach hurt. I had acid reflex pains before, but I reckon this is a touch different, defiantly worse. It nearly feels like cramps, but I had my t.o.m. about a week ago so that can’t be it. Idk what do you guys reckon it is? Or what caused it? I really want it to go away and not have it happen again. Thanks

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I’m 15, I was having a excellent morning. I was cleaning my room, while listening to my ipod and drinking some peppermint tea, because I was cold and wanted a touch to warm me up. Then all of a sudden I got a cough and a horrible stomach pain. I tryed to relax and it finally faded away in about 20mins. But now I have this horrible sharp pain that comes in waves on my left side between my rib cage and hip bone, more towards my back. It comes and goes really quick like in waves, a pulse movement, I’ve had it for about 30mins now. I place a warm rice bag on it and its helping a lot. I don’t reckon it’s a huge deal, but I differently couldn’t live with it. I have an acid reflex problem, and I take a daily pill for it. I usually have no problem with it though and I took that pill today. Now I’m frightened to eat, because it’s just now starting to fill better and I’m worried it will make my stomach hurt. I had acid reflex pains before, but I reckon this is a touch different, defiantly worse. It nearly feels like cramps, but I had my t.o.m. about a week ago so that can’t be it. Idk what do you guys reckon it is? Or what caused it? I really want it to go away and not have it happen again. Thanks
Also it makes no difference when breathing and is not sore to touch

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